I smile and look back at Sasha who looks at me worriedly.

"Let me see my aunt and say goodbye to her, please," I ask sincerely, pretending to be calm.

"I had her cremated and you can't, sorry," we stare at each other. "I didn't want us to meet like this."

I didn't have the right to say goodbye to her either.

"It doesn't matter now," I smile half-heartedly. "I'm going to go to the hospital garden for a while. Let me process this and then you and I will talk."

"I'll be waiting for you at the morgue. No one's going there," I nod. "Forgive me for making a shit of your life."

I shake my head.

"I've only lived under false pretenses for a long time, Sasha," I reply disappointedly.

I open the office door and with the little strength I had left, I went to the garden. I wasn't going to cry, there were still things I had to clear up with him.

***

I don't know how many minutes or maybe hours had passed. The cold seeped through my body making me titillate. The morgue was the darkest and iciest pla