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CHAPTER 68
One of the best therapists has been treating me for the last three years, she greets me with a smile. The office is spacious, completely white, with some plants in the open window, another is located on his desk, it is a small cactus; She expresses that she is an inveterate lover of nature. I am not one of those who are happy to die in that environment, but I have managed to get used to it in a way that gives me peace.Therapy can be short-term to help manage during times of stress or crisis, or it can be provided on an ongoing basis to help achieve and maintain goals. Since then I opted to maintain office visits once a week.Narcissistic people like me find it difficult to admit that we have a problem. And denial only accentuates everything, when I returned to psychotherapy, it was difficult for me to express myself, to admit that I am not well and I must improve.However, it is a job that sometimes becomes arduous, with the presence of occasional setbacks. Still, I make an effort to
CHAPTER 69
A few days ago I bought her these jeans with suspenders, which together with the white shirt and black shoes look beautiful.—Look how handsome you are, honey. All that's left is... —I reach for the brush, combing her hair to the side—. "I think I fell in love, you are a handsome gentleman, Mr. Samuele," I joke, imitating the voice of a screeching female, and I kiss his hand.He starts laughing, infecting me instantly. Afterwards I fill him with many kisses, I am grateful that my lipstick is matte, otherwise I would ruin his little white shirt.“Time to go,” my friend croons, leaning out.-Aunt! - my little one exclaims, that's how anxious he gets when he sees her."Yes, my darling, here's your favorite aunt, come on." She opens her arms, he jumps on top of her and catches him. You smell so good, darling.—You too. —he says hugging her.I melt with tenderness.Soon we got into Gaspard's sports car, if I knew where we were going I would have left with my son in my car.During the journ
CHAPTER 70
AntidoteMerciless my heart jumps, beating my chest. It's about to take on a life of its own and run across the room. It is the first interaction between father and son, and I am an emotional mass, in addition to carrying overwhelming nerves.But Samuele remains silent, shy in front of this stranger."You've planned everything, haven't you?" Gaspard and Mila are involved in this. —I add, incessant urge to recriminate.—Are you angry? There is a lot to tell you, I want to talk to you, please."Please? coming from Silvain it is an extraterrestrial combination.—Confused, I feel betrayed, they put all this together in secret, why?"I don't think you wanted to see me after all."—Why are you sure it is now? In fact, I don't want to see you or talk to you, it's not the time or the place and out of respect for my son, don't continue, Silvain. —I whiten my eyes.At that moment he grabs my arm, moving closer to my ear. The threatening closeness keeps me alert.—I'm an idiot, whatever adjectiv
CHAPTER 71
The matter comes unexpectedly, he looks at me surprised.—There's no point.-For me if.—It was about Julia, I helped her as much as I could, but I didn't know how to get rid of the baby, however she suffered a spontaneous abortion. It all happened before you came to work for me.No wonder he didn't work more, that explains his docility, his submissive attitude.—You used her, the same thing you did with me."I know, I was completely inept, and I regret it," he shakes his head. I am truly sorry for what I put you through, I can't wait until you can accept my sincere apologies. Wait...He leaves, I am taken aback, a narcissist apologizing is a rare thing; The aforementioned, already returned, has a frame in his hands and shows it to me. I open my eyes in surprise, I can't believe I kept it.I start to tear.-That...—You have no idea how much looking at the ultrasound has affected me, it's always been there reminding me of the past and how bad I behaved, it keeps pointing fingers at me
EPILOGUE
Years later...The first date; Silvain chose a quiet place, being more welcoming and modest than what he is usually used to. I had a good time, two weeks after the gallery, it had led to that moment that I thought would never come.Attentive, friendly and detail-oriented. He put it all together that night. The memory immediately comes to my mind, leaving me retrospective.The list of beautiful, and unimaginable, events is endless.«—I hope you like it, I thought of you, so I hope you like it. —The security he usually manages seems to abandon him. He guides me inside the restaurant, it is warm, beautiful... I have no words."I like it, a lot," I admit.He smiles. We go to a table, away from the rest, a maïtre's soon appears and offers us culinary options that make me hesitant. Everything looks fine.However, not much happens when the knight leans in to listen to Silvain's request in secret. So I no longer choose, everything is said.—What did you tell him?—He will bring us the best di
FOREWORD
The empty house, the silence complaining, and flying from corner to corner a light whisper flutters, it is he, perhaps, he has not checked. He prefers to pour himself a glass of whiskey and get away from life. It is an endless loneliness that follows him, it does not end. I look at it, long and hard. It is interesting to see him lying in the narrowness, but he is no longer a fake. Here he shows himself without adjusting the world in his favor, without lying.But he doesn't know that I'm watching him, that's why he doesn't run away, but rather remains there, gone, absorbed in a fixed point in the room.Suddenly his annihilating presence comes to mind, controlling and majestic but at the same time he is a prisoner of tension. His shoulders are straight, he seems confident with his chest puffed out, demonstrating dominance, however this boils down to rigidity, it is fallacious. His expression is hard, his shoulders are rigid, perhaps a clue is peeking out from his neck, no matter the sup
CHAPTER 01
Perfect Specimen"He uses a superb smile as a shield; he attacks, he is afraid, and he wants to instill fear. Terrified, he actually pretends to be the one who makes others flee."...I already feel the sweat running through the lines of my palms, a slight tremor in my legs, my heart beats in anticipation. I need the job, I need money, it would be unfortunate not to stay there. I've already been waiting for ten minutes. I poke my head out again, the hallway is desolate.I cover my face, sigh for the fifth time. Subtle voice brings me out of my mental confinement and I raise my head finding the owner. It's the same woman who welcomed me, she wears an apron, a bow on her head. The appearance of a maid, I guess I'm seeing my reflection that will be me in a matter of minutes. But not everything has been said, I must wait for the last word."Young, Viscardi, follow me, please..." She communicates kindly, which encourages me to leave my place and stand up.I follow her at the same time, I d
CHAPTER 02
Mr. Ego"You never know when you are in eminent danger, until you meet a gaze so empty that not the slightest emotion emerges, except ego in those blues that ache for adoration."...Lying in a fetal shape, her gaze lost in one spot, listless, without the desire to live, she barely observes me but there is no shine in her orbs. I don't know if it can revive one day, it makes me sick to see her like this. On the other hand, I feel relieved to know she is alive, once it happened that I left her alone for a few minutes, I went to the market for some things, when I returned I found her in bed almost without a pulse, and I had to call an ambulance. Turns out it was an overdose, that was a few months ago, now I keep an eye on her more. I'm not going to lie, dread swells in me every time I have to leave her alone. Having it happen again may mean that you don't come out unscathed like the first time. I don't want him to do the same thing again. I don't trust her at all, not in that unstable s