Mathilda’s POV

I’d rather stay home than go out for lunch today.

Being around Fredric could only make things worse. He’s never looked at me kindly before. Besides, he already said I should change my appearance to look like one of those modern supermodels.

How sad.

I admire Fredric. He’s my first love. Since I was a child until now—at twenty-three—we’ve met many times. And yet, he’s always been cold, never even saying hello.

But that’s normal. Who would greet a weird, nerdy girl like me? Covered in pimples, painfully skinny, and with this messy curly hair that makes me look completely unattractive.

“How are you, Mathilda? Everything going well?” asked Mrs. Rosa, pulling me out of my daydream. I smiled and answered, “Yes, everything’s fine.”

“Working as a cashier isn’t too hard. Unless you become a director of a big company—then you’ll get headaches,” Fredric commented suddenly, joining the conversation. I don’t know why he hates me so much.

As far as I can remember, I’ve always been polite to him. Could it be that he somehow knows I like him?

“I understand. Fredric’s been very busy lately. Too much work makes him irritable and stressed. Even the people at home get scolded by him sometimes. Don’t mind what he just said,” Mrs. Rosa explained quickly. “All jobs are the same—there’s always pressure and responsibility.”

The middle-aged woman looked uneasy and a little guilty after hearing what her only grandson had said.

The three of us just smiled and nodded politely. I’m sure my mother was very annoyed by Fredric’s words.

My mother once said Fredric had always been distant and a bit rebellious. But I don’t blame him. His life isn’t as easy as everyone imagines.

Still, his coldness and arrogance somehow draw me in. Maybe that’s what love feels like when you fall for someone you shouldn’t. Is it really so wrong for a plain, unpopular girl like me to love him in secret?

“Well, Grandma, I don’t want to interrupt your lunch plans, but I have a date with Paula this afternoon. I need to meet her and accompany her to a modeling agency—she’s auditioning today. Can we wrap this up soon?”

Fredric looked at his grandmother, speaking quietly so only she could hear—but my ears caught every word. My parents, on the other hand, didn’t seem to notice the conversation.

“Who’s Paula?” asked Mrs. Rosa.

Something in my chest tightened. Fredric had always changed girlfriends frequently, but for some reason, this time I really wanted to know who Paula was—probably because I’d just overheard her name.

“I’ll introduce her later. Can we hurry with lunch, Grandma?” Fredric muttered impatiently.

That woman must be someone very special to him. If only that woman were me.

Ah… the foolish fantasy of a strange, ordinary girl like me isn’t worth entertaining.

My eyes, which had been fixed on him, quickly darted to my plate when Fredric turned to glance at me. Damn, he probably thinks I’m a stalker.

“Well, Goyle, if you don’t mind,” Mrs. Rosa said to my father, “I’d like to ride back with you after this. Fredric has to leave for an urgent matter. That’s alright, isn’t it?”

Of course my parents agreed. Immediately after that, Fredric stood up and left without saying goodbye. His face was expressionless, cold as ever. Still, I was certain that deep inside, his heart was racing—he was about to meet the woman he adored.

Sometimes I wonder, why is life so unfair? If I can’t have the man of my dreams, couldn’t God at least give me a little happiness through kindness?

---

Paula.

No.

That name haunts me.

It feels like today is the worst day of my life since I became Fredric’s secret admirer. Why does that name bother me so much? I even tried looking her up on social media, but I couldn’t find anything.

The clock showed eleven at night. I should be asleep—I have to work at seven tomorrow.

Damn it, my brain just won’t stop replaying Fredric’s cold stare and that woman’s name!

“Honey!”

A piercing cry from my parents’ room shattered my thoughts of Fredric.

“What happened, Mom—MOM!”

I couldn’t finish my sentence. My mother was lying on the floor, foam coming from her mouth. My legs went weak.

“Call an ambulance now! Call the hospital, Mathilda!”

I nodded, tears already streaming down my cheeks. My voice trembled as I called for help, but thankfully, I managed to speak clearly enough that the message got through fast.

My father was crying uncontrollably, holding my mother in his arms. I was terrified. What had she taken?

I collapsed beside the phone, completely powerless. Even when the ambulance arrived and they began lifting my mother’s body, I was still frozen in place.

“Mathilda, let’s go,” my father said, taking my hand, his face swollen from crying.

The ambulance sped away, and just as we exited our yard, I saw Mrs. Rosa standing there.

“Why did Mom collapse?” I asked.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out,” my father answered shakily. “She came out of the bathroom and just fell, with foam at her mouth. What else could I do but scream for help?”

The car sped through the streets. The rest of the ride was silent.

---

We sat outside the ICU, panic twisting my stomach. It had been almost half an hour with no word from the doctor or the nurses.

My hand ached from how tightly I’d been squeezing it to fight off the panic.

“Dad… will Mom be okay?”

I’d asked him that question so many times that he no longer answered.

As if the universe wanted to reply for him, the ICU door suddenly opened and a doctor appeared. My father and I immediately stood up and rushed toward him.

“How is my wife?” my father asked urgently.

The doctor’s face was blank. He shook his head.

My father ran into the ICU, but I stayed behind, clutching the doctor’s hand.

“Please… tell me what happened! I don’t understand that look on your face!”

“Your mother passed away from a sleeping pill overdose.”

His words made me let go of his hand. My body went limp as I sank to the floor.

Is it true? Has my mother really died?

Why, God… why does this have to happen to us?