The stories always begin with an event that is generally fatal or of apparent happiness or of total happiness. Why not? But for me luck will start fateful and this apparently has nothing. I am in the waiting room of the Punta Pacífico hospital waiting for any information that will take me out of this state of despair and anguish in which I find myself. My mother, the only person I have in the world, the only one who takes care of me, is in critical condition and I am nowhere to lose her, she taught me to be strong but how to stay on my feet, if everything is about to turn worse?
"Relatives of Mrs. Cook." To hear that thick voice that makes me tremble more than I do, for some reason they give me some repulse, afraid of what he might say to me, I get up and, pretending to be strong, I approach the short and chubby doctor who demands my presence.
"I am her daughter and her only relative." I make it clear to him when I see him looking behind my back, my appearance of a girl helps me little. "Relax, I'm of legal age, you can tell me anything, I am going to bear." My confidence and the forcefulness with which I speak hide my true fears.
“Come with me.” The man asks not very convinced, without saying anything else I follow him to his office, sitting across from each other separated by his desk, we look at each other, my seriousness is imperturbable and his anguish is palpable, the fact that I am a girl I know makes him doubt. "Miss, are you sure there isn't someone else to accompany you?" I shake my head and scowl. The reality is that I do have someone who can accompany me, but at the moment it is impossible for them to come and keep me company.
"Believe me doctor, there is no one else, you can tell me everything you have to say, don't get carried away by my appearance."
The doctor sighs and leaning his elbows on the table, he nods, “your mother has a heart murmur, those murmurs are usually nothing to worry about, but unfortunately your mother's murmur encompasses a major heart vein.” The words from him are like cold water falling all over my body. “She has to be operated as soon as possible."
Hearing that makes me close my eyes. How will I pay for that? "How ... how much is the operation?" I look into his eyes, his wavering gaze letting me know it's about a lot.
“Thirty thousand...”
"Damn!" I whisper in disbelief.
“Calm down, we'll take good care of her, you can pay the bill later."
I snort. What the hell am I going to do now? “Thank you. Can I see her?” I ask, getting up.
"Of course, she is asleep but there is no problem with you staying to take care of her." The doctor guides me around the place until I reach a room where they have my mother channeled, she looks so calm, her calm breathing makes my hair stand on end, I have never seen her so calm, not even when she sleeps. "I'll leave you alone, call me if anything happens."
"Thank you, doctor, you are very kind." With a nice smile, I said goodbye. "God, mom,” I whispered, stroking her hair, "why does everything have to happen to us?" I ask as if she could answer me. I have no idea how I will get that money but I have to find a way, lying on the sofa my head starts to plot all the options I have. "Great ... I'll rob a bank!" I say frustrated, “we are well fucked this time mom, well fucked ...”
"You can stop talking to yourself like crazy girl,” her weak voice makes me laugh, I get up from the couch and walk over to her.
"It's clear, Mrs. Cook, you like to do everything in a big way,” I kidded.
“There were many people?” She asks, closing her eyes in horror.
"We were at the mall. What did you expect?” I smile when I see her complain about it. "Hey, calm down, you gave me a scare." I kiss her head.
"What happened to me?"
Her question leaves me serious on the spot. Should I tell her the truth at the risk of worrying about her and doing her more harm? I finally decide to be cautious. “It's nothing serious mom, it will just be an operation and ...”
"Did you say an operation? Marilí, where will we get that? We are not insured!” She puts her hands on her head, my mother always worries about the wrong things, she goes from her illness to thinking about money.
"Mom, calm down, you can't get upset or you'll get worse, I'll talk to my boss or whoever, I'll do it if it's the only way to get what we need. Now I want you to relax, calm down and go back to rest, you need it.” I can't tell her the truth, that would be too risky.
"When and how much is the operation?" I don't say anything, I can't help but look into her worried dark eyes. "How much is the operation?" She asked a little louder.
“Five thousand dollars,” I say in a whisper.
“Five thousand dollars?!” She screams in disbelief. “What is going on with me? Maybe I can get past all of this drama, it's getting upset and my concern is growing.”
"Mrs. Cook.” I hear the doctor's voice. “You shouldn't be upset or I'll have to sedate you." He walks over to her and checks her. “She'll be visiting for a while,” he said, “and I don't think you can get past this operation, your life depends on that.” He smiles at her.
“What?” My mother asks in a bad mood. That Italian has a rather difficult character, I think that is why she has always been able to get ahead. "I have to work to help my daughter." She looks at him threateningly. "I can't stay here, I feel good and I don't think my life is at risk, if I was, I'd be convalescing and I'm not." She lies, the weak tone of her voice giving her away. Mom is a warrior, fighter and risky woman, she can never stay calm on one side, she likes to be active and she likes to live her life, that's why she loves art.
"Easy mom,” I ask her, “I will work for both of us, I am no longer a girl, you also know that my job allows me to pay the rent and keep the cupboard full, I will also be able to pay for the hospital.” I smiled at her, “the university scholarship is serving something." I wink at her, but she won't stop growling and cursing in Italian.
"You should listen to your daughter, your heart won't be able to take it anymore." The doctor insists, "you have a very responsible daughter,” he smiles at her, it amuses me to see how that doctor looks at my mother. She has a white complexion, her black hair and huge, dark and bulging eyes, the vitality that she has infects anyone, but her character alienates as many as she can.
“She's fine, but don't think you'll keep me in bed 24 hours a day. Understood?” The funny doctor shows her the palms of his hands.
"Mamma,” I protested to her letting her bad mood out on the doctor, “I'm sorry doctor, she's usually sweet." I'm lying to get out of trouble.
"I hope to meet that sweetness," he assures. “I'll leave you alone, everything is fine for now Mrs. Cook, if there is any discomfort, please let me know." With that said, he leaves the room.
"Mom, you should be good." I reproach her for the way she is, “no one here is your enemy."
"Fuck everyone!" She snorts and I roll my eyes.
After talking to Mom and calming her down to leave the money to me and forcing her to sleep, I start to do my homework, I am so tired that I don't realize it when I fall asleep. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." I murmur over and over again, "Mom, I have to go, I'm late to campus, and I’ll come after work."
My mother kisses me on the nose, “take care, my girl, and for God's sake eat something." She yells at me, I didn't stay to listen to her. At full speed I run to the elevator, once I get to the ground floor I go to the subway station and of course it is full as always, I don't know what my mother was thinking when she decided to move to Panama, in Italy everything would be much better or, so less, I think so.
When I arrived on campus and with it in my classroom, the class was already starting. I study contemporary art, as a worthy daughter of my mother, I like everything that has to do with art and creation.
"Miss Cook, you are late." Santiago Gómez, my drawing teacher, reprimands me. "If you weren’t as good as you are, you would get out of my class." He dislikes us being late.
"I'm sorry Professor Gomez, I won't let it repeat itself."
"Of course it won't happen again." He affirms. Mentally cursing I go to my seat.
"Skinny you look bad." My friend whispered in my ear.
“You should notice that I did not bathe and I came with the same clothes as yesterday ...What a shame!” I buffed.
"How is your mother?" She asked.
“For now well, I'll tell you during break.” She nods and we focus our attention on the class or we would both get kicked out.
After finishing the class, which became the most boring, something very strange for me, since everything that has to do with creating fascinate me, we left the room and headed to the campus patio.“Hi dear,” Ian's voice reaches my ears and I smile, turning around to my boyfriend. He is the most romantic, understandable, kind and loving boy I have ever met, his dark skin and long curly black hair enchant me. "How is my skinny?"I looked up at him, he is much taller than me, although his body is thin. Ian is one year older.“Perfect.”He sits next to me and places a kiss on my head, “you are beautiful as the views of Ancón.” He winks at me."For God's sake ... I hate guys who study English literature. Do they always have to be so assholes and romantic?"Carla asks almost with disgust, I push her for her bad language."You are bitter,” my boyfriend replies. "I'd like to stay and fight wi
This time I woke up much earlier, I am not going to leave without bathing again,"I must go, mom, please for all you love the most and for world peace ... Be good, Capisci?" I asked her.“Okay ... I'll do it daughter, I'll be fine, with the explanation they've given me now I know I'm in danger and I can't disobey, I don't want to leave you alone.”I smile at her fondly, approaching her I give her a hug and a kiss, "I'm leaving, see you tonight, addio." I wink at her and she gives me a beautiful smile.I leave the hospital and it is early, today I will miss some classes to get the bank account.As I get on the subway, I decide to send a message to my friend.‘Can you send me the photo of the old man that will take away one of the most important things I have?’I hit send and sigh, I'm still not sure I'm doing this crazy thing, but what other option do I have? The ringtone of the cell phone takes me away from m
"I remind you Mr. Hamann, only my virginity will belong to you, I will not be yours, once we finish with what was agreed, I will leave and any relationship between the two will end."His smile grew bigger and wildly sexy, "I remind you Miss Cook that you will be mine for 24 hours, I should increase the time to enjoy you more, don't you think?"A small mocking laugh comes out of my throat, “doesn't the gentleman think that with 24 hours he has plenty of time?"He shakes his head,"I don't have enough ... not enough."I nod without leaving my mocking laugh, "I don't think you have the capacity or the stamina to give me pleasure for 24 hours, now clearly I don't think you are capable of giving me pleasure for much more." Directly at the jugular and his male pride convalescing from my words, his serious and imposing gesture made me know that I hurt him with what I said."Can you sign the contract at once?"I smile tr
“Skinny come on we must go,” I hear my friend screaming, taking my bag I hurry to leave the house, I secure everything and when I turn I see her a little further away.It has been three days since I met Mr. Hamann, today we have to go to the tests and that makes me a little nervous.Mom is desperate, she wants to get out of the hospital and I wouldn't be surprised if the doctors and nurses want the same thing. The lady is difficult!"I'm here, we can go." Without wasting any more time, we headed for the bus.“Nervous?” She asks once we board the bus.I sighed heavily,"Mr. Hamann is not easy,” I look at her, “they also have to check on me ...you know that no one has ever seen me down there, right? Fuck Carla, I have hair ...”"Cut them off,” she laughed.I give her a shove, "I'm not kidding, Mr. Hamann doesn't want me to,” I scowled, "It's strange ..." I whisper."Weird eno
“Are you okay?” Clara asked, “you are sweating?” Being aware of how warm I am, I nod. For this part, I hate workshop days; with this heat everything is unbearable. My friend smiles, "you're blushing, very ...very blushing, it won't be Black who makes you like that. No? Look, I don't want to lose this competition, I want to keep watching him and tell him by all the nicknames that come to mind to get paid for today,” she winks at me, amused I shake my head.“You relax your ass because what I have is heat,” I take my bottle of water in hand and drink it as if I were passing the Sahara. I can't believe I'm thinking about Mr. Hamann, I shouldn't do it, I have a boyfriend. I close my eyes tightly, what the hell am I getting into? Is it normal that I think a lot about what will happen on Saturday?God!I feel really bad about what I will do to Ian, I am a daughter of my reverend mother.My friend focuses on
"Witches are said to be fire's best allies, so don't worry about it. Now I'm going to make some points clear to you, punctuality is what I like the most, I hate changes of plans at the last minute and I hate that they want to play "I can do everything", I have no obligation to spend time with you, no morebeyond the stipulated time, if you tell me that we will meet specifically at a time and with that you arrange the place, you do not have to come looking for me and pretend to get me off campus or wherever, just because you want to.Make no mistake with me Mr. Hamann, although I have never been, sexually speaking, with a man that does not treat me a stupid girl who does not know about life, do we understand each other?” My voice as always is sweet, no matter how serious or angry I am, my tone of voice never changes.His serious gesture and the veins that are swelling in his neck indicate that he is holding back, his gaze wanders over my body and only that gestur
Waking up after a night of partying is the worst thing in the world, the stinky smell of alcohol is perceived in the environment, the headache is considerable but nothing to worry about, putting on my best face, I look at myself in the mirror and smile, I'm terrible.Ready and having breakfast, I wait for my friend at my house, today is the big day, Mr. Hamann will put more than his hands on me, today he would deflower me for a million and a half dollars, yes ... for a million and a half dollars, my madness is incredible."Tomorrow ..." Shouts my friend entering as if it was her house, actually it is.Our friendship has been going on for more than fifteen years, we have been friends since I arrived in Panama when I was only three years old."Mani ..." I answer the greeting."Ready for your rich batch?"She asks, raising her eyebrows, her expression makes me laugh."I'm trying not to think about it. Are we going out again today? Mom
I look into his eyes and bite my lip, “we are in a public place and ...""No one can see us, Marilí. Why don't you want to be with me yet?” I don't like his tone of voice. "It's been a damn year now and I can't believe that every time you leave me with my fucking cock aching with arousal."I frown, he is right but he mustn't talk to me like that."Change your words and lower your tone or not only will you have pain in your cock, I'm not ready for this."I look at him seriously although my heart is racing by seconds and guilt eats away at me in an incredible way, a burning in my stomach is created by the burden of conscience, I am nowhere near playing a very dirty trick on my boyfriend, “since we got together, we've been on something, right?" He nods in a bad mood. “Then, why do you despair?”He runs his hand through his hair, “I am a man, Marilí, I feel and have needs, those that you do not attend to an