The press secretary sprang out of bed after getting the call, screaming hysterically, "What?! The Antarctic deployment somehow made the internet?! How the hell did the military commit such a rookie mistake?!"

Her outburst jolted her thirtyish husband awake, and he sat up and asked, "What's wrong, babe? You scared me."

The press secretary smiled apologetically, "Sorry, emergency. I need to take this—stay in bed, babe."

With that, she hurried out of her bedroom with her phone, snapping angrily